Sunday, 26 August 2007

Light at the end of the tunnel !

Portmeirion    ''I wanted to show people,with a sort of light opera approach,that architecture ,could be entertaining,interesting,intriguing.could be fun.''Sir Clough Williams Ellis  Architect and creator of Portmerion

Thankyou to dear Bunny for this card you sent me ,and indeed to everyone for your cards and emails and e cards ,with all your good wishes ,plus all the comments on my last entry ,you cant imagine how much it has helped me over the last few weeks ,Thankyou from the bottom of my heart ,I found my self in a very strange place ,for a time ,a place from which you wont be getting a postcard saying ''wish you were here''!

At first ,I couldnt see the point in anything,kept asking my self ,''whats it all about?''.....but gradually as each day has gone by I have felt abit better ,not as quick as I would have liked.... but I now feel Im getting there ,I now go out to the shops again ! the first week that was an ordeal ,I even went up to our town yesterday ,with my trolley ,and was pleased to discover that a couple of the shop windows still had their displays from the previous weeks ''Fortys weekend ''(we didnt go this year ,for obvious reasons)

I feel I may be on these tablets for a while yet ,my Doctor has assured me she will be monitering me and wont pull the rug from under me,I will stop taking them when we both agree,meanwhile one day at a time !I even did some knitting the other night ,something I  hadnt done in a while ,with hind sight ,this has been creeping up on me for a while ,But Im going to beat it ,Have a blessed Sunday everyone ,I will finish this entry with the siggy my dear friend Debbie made for me ,Debbie has been so suportive to me ,so understanding ,bless you Debs

With Love


Saturday, 11 August 2007


The last time I did a journal entry ,you will remember I was planning to go to the seaside ,Skegness, with the over sixties group ,I had been busy doing the usual chores ,the weather had finally turned sunny ,so I had cleaned my windows out side and washed the curtains ,Maurice went off to work ,I was busy getting my things ready for the trip the next day ,when I started to feel weird ,I carried on watching TV ,thinking it would pass,I was hot, hyperventerlating and breathless ,At about 11.30 pm,I rang Maurice at work ,who rang the Doctors on call ,and he kept in touch with me by phone ringing every half an hour ,when the Doc didnt get in touch he rang them again ,telling them I was now getting very frightened ,They finally rang me at about 2.30am ! and from what I told him I was having a panic attack ,I,managed to get off to sleep ,The next morning Debbie took me up to the Doctors ,A lovely lady Doctor who took my blood pressure said that was as it should be ,also sounded my chest ,said heart was ok ,well I reckon everyone in the building could hear it pounding ,So the Doctor had the nurse take loads of blood for testing ,Dr suspected Thyroid ,this was on Wednesday August 1st,I rang the surgery on the Friday ,And spoke to the recptionist who said all the tests were OK ?,would I  like the Doctor to ring me after surgery , which she did and assured me I all the tests were fine ,I felt tereble all week end ,I was shaky and feeling really tired and lethargic with no appetite,On Monady morning Debbie took me to the Doctors again ,who said I have depression ,....hey where did that come from ? I have been prescribed Sertraline,but aparently they dont take effect for a couple of weeks ? so in the meantime the doc gave me some Diazepam ,after a couple of days on them I had to stop ,I was spaced out feeling like a Zombie,now I am just feeling wretched waiting for the Sertraline to kick in ,please God ,I cant ever remember feeling so awful ,no energy ,no enthusiasm ,but hey this has to be a step forward ,doing this entry ,Some thing positive ! So I want you to know I havent been up to making comments on your journals ,but I have been reading ,I hope to feel better soon and be back ,with love Jan xx