Saturday, 12 November 2005

Excuse me Madam !!

Here in J-land you dont really know who you are talking to !!!so with that in mind ,Im about to tell you something ,thats been on my mind ,to tell or not to tell ?.................Well here goes ~~

I got ,done for shoplifting ! It was like this, I was in John Lewis ,department store in local shopping centre ,Id broken my tail comb ,so found what I wanted ,remembered I also needed some blusher ,so made my way to the cosmetics department which is near the door ,happened to look out and thought I saw some one I knew ,as it happened it wasnt !But nearly jumped out of my skin when a blooming great hand ,grabbed my shoulder !Excuse me madam ,we believe youve got goods you havent paid for ,I tried to explain ,but no, this gorilla in security mans clothes wasnt having it !I was escorted to the managers office ,where this man told the manager his tale ,no one was listening to me ,then as they locked me into a little room off the managers office the words police were ringing in my ears ,oh my God ,what will work say! its bound to be in the Evening Telegraph ,whats the neighbours going to think ,and my family !and Maurices family ,and Maurice OH he will kill me ,I did some quick thinking ,looked around the room ,there was some racks with files  a couple of chairs,and a desk ,there was a window leading out onto a fire escape,just then I heard voices ,I made a decision , The window ,it was stiff,but I managed to get it open ,and Id straddled the window sill when into the room burst,a police man ,the manager,and the gorilla ,well there I was half in and half out of the window ,with this Tuddy great gorilla pulling my leg ,just like Im pulling yours.

                                                                Jan xx 

22 comments:

ally123130585918 said...

Oh Jan - you really had me going there.....lol.....Ally

madcobug said...

HA HA, you had me there. Helen

aniracj said...

Jan, if I ever get hold of you........!!!!! That was wicked, Kid,... had me fooled! Well done! Trouble is it could so easily happen like that in a moment!

cyandfayedavis said...

very good

sarajanesmiles said...

Lolol, you really got me with this one Jan!!!!
Very funny :o)
Sara   x

jlocorriere05 said...

I shall never believe a word you say again!! Jeannette.

jeanno43 said...

You naughty girl!  What are you like? lol

judithheartsong said...

oh, you had me going..............................
:) judi

suzyh73 said...

You nutter!

Su
xx

frdbrow7 said...

Naughty, naughty girl!  I have to say that when it got to you making an escape, I began to think 'this is a good story' lol!

Jan, I have a story to tell - and it is VERY true!  My bladder woke me up around 1.0am this morning, and as I was struggling out of bed I heard THE MOST horrendous noise - sounded like the scream of a jet engine, but I knew it was the sound of a car going EXTREMELY FAST! Then came the BANG!  I staggered to the window and saw a car upside down in the field opposite.  I struggled downstairs trying not to trip over my three wild-eyed cats to get to my land line (luckily big numbered touch-tone!) so could just about manage to hit 999 in the darkness (no time to put the light on!) I was asked in a very stern voice "Police, Fire, Ambulance'?  I said 'all three, I think'  and within five minutes an ambulance arrived followed by 2 police cars, two Fire Engines and a helicoptor!  (Jeez - the Resources!)  To my amazement I saw a young man in his 20's walk from this wreck apparently unharmed and unperturbed and he just walked off!  There were still folks up and about at that time and they went over to inspect the wreckage and I heard one of them say 'he's just legged it'!  Well for the next 4 hours it was lights, banging car doors, loud voices and NO chance of any sleep, so I just watched everything from my bedroom window.  It was mosting interesting watching the crane haul the wreckage onto the back of a low-loader - all done in about 15-20mins! I finally tried for a few hours kip but that darned helicopter hung around for ages!  I looked out of the window this morning and there was no sign that anything had happened, no skid marks and not so much as flattened grass on the field.  A dream? NO I had the presence of mind to take photos of the wreck being loaded - unfortunately, the camera clearly showed that my windows need cleaning! :-(

labdancer51 said...

Thank goodness it`s a wind up Jan....I thought you might have needed bail posted...lol!  Must go and hide some swag!;-)

Sandra xxx

rachealcarol said...

A very good wind up Jan..........you naughty thing, I bet all were intensely reading just like me, very easy done though, it's something you don't think ahead of at the time. Rache xx

jaymact1 said...

Oh you are naughty Jan, I was really engrossed in you taleand a tale it was.  Great. Love Joan.

faircolleen said...

oh you REALLY had me there!!I read this opened mouthed!!I thought shes NEVER climbing out the window but was laughing at the scene unfolding thinking OOO Bloody hell!!I laughed out loud at the end. . thanks for the laugh Jan!

sunny112659 said...

Jan you really had me going. I have only been reading your journal for a short time . IWhen I do read it I truely enjoy it. Sunny

yakima127 said...

Oh, you're FUNNY!  I was freaking out!  LOL!  Glad it was just a joke!  JAE

lsfp1960 said...

Oh my gosh....I was getting nervous, is it April Fools Day ? LOL

nedmoh said...

When I first started to read I thought Oh Jan!! she hasn't told me about this , then reading on I suddenly remembered the joke! Well done.......Jeanx

plieck30 said...

Oh I was feeling so sorry for you 'cause this could happen accidently. Cute entry. Paula

jmoqueen said...

LOL are you pulling our leg or aren't you?? So confused now I don't know what to type LOL........

irisclyde said...

Phew! You nearly had me there! I was feeling very emotional for you!
http://journals.aol.co.uk/irisclyde/LaDolceVita

funnyface0s0 said...

I remember escaping thru a window once - giving a disasterous date the slip!!!
He hee!!
Jayne
http://journals.aol.co.uk/funnyface0s0/SingleGirl